A support system is great for helping us through tough times or experiences.
But sometimes it is better to want that support system rather than need it. Here are some ideas on how to overcome hard things on your own.
The support of a friend, family member or stranger can give us great mileage in getting things done for ourselves. And sometimes, the knowledge that you have a support system can give you the courage and confidence to get through certain situations. You may do it for yourself or for “them” but the final results are what matters.
This is really important because our own brains can be the biggest enemies to getting things done so that external push is a great boost.
According to David Rock, cofounder of the Neuroleadership Institute, doing hard things on our own can be difficult because our brains work against us by turning us away from the effort and hard work.
When there’s “no reason” for you to get through a hard time, your brain makes you seek out comfortable and normal experiences to protect you from the hard things. For example, if you decide to work out to boost your energy, exercising may not be fun, you may lose time with friends and have financial issues because of your gym membership.
Amidst all that, your brain doesn’t see the immediate reward of going through that pain and soon you may start to fall off your new path. This is when a support system can help you stay focused.
However, you can also do it on your own with these three tips.
Do hard tasks in a good mood
If your brain is going to resist a challenging situation or experience then you have to be in a good mood to have a chance at getting hard but essential things done. Whenever you hit a good mood, tackle a task that contributes to what you want to achieve. You can also get your brain into a productive state by making a task a priority to it and your life at that moment.
Give yourself autonomy
When there’s a choice to be made, the brain will choose the easiest option all the time. So you need to be innovative and give detailed choices with incentives.
For example, if it is a choice between eating healthy or eating junk, you can point out the experience of eating junk and of eating a salad plus the outcome. You might say, “Do I want to eat a fresh salad which will make me feel good and energetic or do I want to eat a glazed doughnut which made me nauseous and sleepy last time?
Adopt a growth mindset
The end goal of any hard task is some kind of new development or change that has not yet been realised by is assured with effort. That is growth and you have to see it that way. Instead of seeing it as getting healthy, see it as growth and change.
You can share your story of trying in spaces where attempts and trials are prized just as much as results. This way, when one tactic fails, it is easy to try another rather than giving up the whole project.
